I loved writing ever since I was little. It was my favorite activity in school besides reading. After I saw The Lord of the Rings, I found the fantasy genre. This set me on the path to write my own stories.
I wanted to write a big fantasy series, but I struggled to come up with an idea that I didn’t get bored with. It wasn’t until years later, in the midst of struggling with mental illness, that I finally had the nightmares about the wierllings and the girl trapped on the wall. This time the story flowed and didn’t stop. I didn’t let the world die in my head. I wanted to write and publish this book and the others that will follow.
Then I wondered if publishing this book was a good idea. This may not be the kind of story that people seek out to read, or only a few would ever read it. What if everyone laughed at it? But ultimately, I knew the inspirational power that the book could possess. This story could potentially help people.
When I began writing, the anxiety tried to make me think that my writing was worthless and terrible. I cover this in more detail in the How I Deal with Writing Anxiety post. However, I fought through it. It was like something was pushing me to keep working. I could feel it in my bones. I had to write this book. One day, I saw a news story on the internet about a young girl who had committed suicide. Her family and friends loved her, she did well in school, and she seemed to be living a normal, happy life. After her death, they found her journal that told a different story about what was happening inside her mind. I wondered if things would have been different if she had found something to inspire her to keep living. I was even more determined to finish the book.
In about two months, I completed the first draft and then embarked on the journey to publication. It was hard. I went through self-publishing, traditional publishing, and then back to self-publishing. There was a steep learning curve as I tried to improve my ability as a writer and understand how to self-publish a book. But I never gave up. I would have regretted it for the rest of my life if I had quit.
“Reawakened Flames” allowed me to express my pain and my fears. I found some validation because this is a big screw you to my mental illness. I took a condition that caused me so much suffering and turned it into a positive force for good that may help other people. This story is for those like me who struggle every day and wonder if they can ever find hope again, for those who are looking for a little inspiration, and for those who are interested in reading a fantasy series with a unique twist. Welcome to what will be the first of many tales.