Chapter 13 in E1 is chapter 15 in E2. The chapter was very similar to the final version, with lots of little bits that were changed or cut out. I wish I had known to use Grammarly when I first wrote the book because there are plenty of red lines under mistakes in the E1 version.
Reminder: My notes will be in italicized red font, and the text from E1 will be in black. E1 refers to edition one, and E2 refers to edition two.
13
Aria and Jayce eventually make their way back down to try to sleep. Haven is waiting for them at the bottom of the ladder.
“If I could have a word alone with the princess, please.”
Jayce leaves them, and Aria closes the trap door.
“I know it must trouble you to have that wierling after you,” she says sympathetically.
“How have you and your pack even lived alongside them for so long?”
Haven sits down and cocks her head to the side in thought. “They’ve never bothered us. Even the mightiest wolf can still suffer from mental illness, but we’re apparently not they’re intended prey,” she pauses and adds somberly, “Of course, they’re also immune from us. We’ve tried to stop them from taking people before and lost a few brave wolves in the process.”
I always read the final version of the chapter before looking back through this. Even though most of the content is the same, this version is so much wordier and has grammar mistakes.
“Is your vision about the fall of my kingdom really going to come true?”
“Our visions are only of what might happen. They are never set in stone depending on the actions of those involved.”
“Like me getting the magic rose to my father in time without a wierling killing me?”
“That would likely play a significant role in all of this, yes.”
“No pressure,” Aria remarks with trepidation.
“Aria, do you mind if I just call you Aria?”
The princess shakes her head.
The line about Haven calling her just Aria was cut because I felt like, even though the seer wolves don’t follow the same rules as the humans in regard to manners around royalty, they would know enough to respect the titles.
“Aria, wierlings are drawn to and were designed to feed off of people with mental illness. They lure you in by using your own mind against you. Perhaps that’s the key to fighting back. If they can’t use the mental illness against you, then they can’t control you.”
“Basically, resist my own impulses.”
“I can sense great strength in you. If anyone can face one of those creatures and live, it will be you.”
“Thanks, Haven.” It’s nice to know someone else has that much faith in her. “I don’t know if I’m overstepping my boundaries, but where do seer wolves receive their visions from? Why warn me about the fall of my kingdom? I’ve always wondered.”
“What have you heard before?”
“Besides the whole “the moon rose from the earth at the dawn of time and wolves were given sight,” nothing.”
This above was an old version of the legend that was ultimately put into “Visions and Illusions.”
“Hmm. I can tell you many things,” Haven says thoughtfully, “but it’s not my place to reveal that. We have our secrets that we guard closely for more than one reason. It’s nothing personal against you, of course.”
“Had to try. So, Landa said three of the kingdoms are united against us. Our allies are cut off. We might be able to face Rodrick and his army but not the others simultaneously. We need some way to avoid battle entirely. I’m going to need your help though.”
Haven pricks her ears forward, giving her full attention.
[this section was basically the same, so I removed it]
Aria joins Jayce and Landa back in the bedroom. The royal guard is settling some hole ridden, frayed blankets on the floor that he found in the dresser.
“What did Haven want to talk to you about?” he asks.
“That maybe I can fight the wierling by not letting it turn my mind against me.”
“Good. We’ll need that since our phoenix seems to be out of commission. No offense, Landa.”
“None taken.”
“What?” Aria asks in surprise.
Landa shifts uncomfortably. When Jayce had come back into the room, she apologized for snapping at him earlier and admitted why she couldn’t kill the wierling. It’s still not her favorite aspect about herself to explain though. “I have no fire.”
“How is that even possible?” the princess queries in disbelief.
“I had an accident. I fell into a lake mid-glide and almost died. A lot of the phoenixes wouldn’t let me forget my mistake. I’m supposed to be the next leader of the flock but hardly anyone respects me. I haven’t been able to set myself on fire since. My parents keep telling me that a phoenix never truly loses their fire, and that it is always inside of them whether they know it or not. I really want to believe that’s true.”
“Then let’s hope we can both find our fire again.” Aria turns her attention back to her boyfriend. “Jayce, you can sleep in the bed if you want.”
“It’s okay. You take the bed.”
“I meant that you can share the bed with me.”
He looks at her with a surprised expression. “You sure?”
“I know we’ve never slept with each other yet, but I always feel better when you’re close. It’ll help me sleep better if I know you’re right there beside me.”
“I wasn’t too excited to be sleeping on these old rags anyways.” He gathers up the blankets and folds them back into a dresser drawer.
“Also, I asked Haven for her help. She is going to gather her pack and head to the castle. Bronson and Isabel respect the seer wolves. They won’t want to fight them willingly.”
“I doubt that will work with Rodrick.”
“Hopefully if they back down, he will too. I guess we’ll just have to see what happens.”
Aria doesn’t fall asleep immediately. She lies on her side facing the window and is wrapped in her own gray cloak. Jayce is on his back next to her and is nearest to the door. He chose that side so in case anything came in, it will have to go through him to reach her. Landa is fast asleep in the chair behind her.
Aria would have tossed and turned to try to get comfortable, but she doesn’t want to wake up Jayce. She is anxious about what the next day will bring and what she may have to face. Aria will possibly be having a showdown with her own mind, as well as a confrontation with a wierling. The thought of suddenly having to assume the crown now seems easier to handle than this. That is ironically humorous given all her fears before of becoming queen.
Everyone is depending on her, especially her father even though he doesn’t know yet. Aria eventually falls into an uneasy slumber. Anxiety over what could happen plagues her mind. Her dreams are filled with darkness and an indiscernible shape trying to drag her into the gloom.
Yes, plenty of stuff is too wordy and oddly worded. That’s what I get for not knowing as much about writing as I thought I did and not getting an editor initially for the first book.
Part 14 Coming Soon!
Copyright © 2018 Lindsay McCafferty