This is chapter thirteen in the final edition of “Reawakened Flames.” The previous chapter with Landa sitting on watch on the top of the central tower of the sorcerer’s keep was added to the final edition because I wanted more thoughts from Landa.
Reminder: My notes will be in italicized red font, and the text from E1 will be in black. E1 refers to edition one, and E2 refers to edition two.
11
Aria wakes up a couple of hours later. She allows herself to stay in that peaceful transition from sleeping to being awake for as long as she can manage. This is the time that any awareness of reality has yet to catch up, and she can exist in a state ignorant bliss of everything around her. However, memories slowly creep into her consciousness. The events she wished were just nightmares replay in her mind.
I was very wordy. I still struggle with it, but I’m better about condensing sentences.
Aria wakes up with a start. She is lying on a bed in a musty old room. Moonlight streams in from the window to her left. Tonight, is a full moon shining clear and bright. She becomes aware of the crackling of a fireplace.
So, I should have mentioned it earlier, but when you are thinking about how you want your lighting by the sun and the moon, remember that both rise in the east and set in the west. In E2, I had to sit and mentally visualize where the windows in the rooms would be positioned so light would shine through. At one point, I realized that I had everything positioned the opposite way and had to correct the error. I also went back and forth with woods and forest. There is a difference. Essentially, a forest is larger than woods.
“Aria?” she hears someone say.
The princess looks to her right and sees Jayce staring at her, his eyes assessing.
“Hey. You okay?” he asks in concern.
Aria takes a moment to consider how she feels. She is still hungry and could use some water; otherwise, she is fine. “Yeah, I’m alright given the circumstances.”
“I was worried when you passed out. I wasn’t sure what was wrong with you.”
“I don’t know. Whatever the wierling did to me when it had me under its spell drained me of all my energy. I wasn’t exactly in the best physical condition either. Thank you for saving me. I probably wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
“You’re welcome.”
Aria is alive, and her mind is now entirely focused on two things. “You have any food and water with you?”
I added more about Jayce being distressed in E2 because it made sense that he would be. It added more to the scene and to the character.
[removed a few lines]
“The phoenix’s name is Landa. She arrived in Toranon the morning after you were kidnapped and accompanied me here.” Jayce is careful to not mention Garne. “She’s keeping watch outside. It’s too dangerous to travel through this forest at night. We can’t leave until morning.”
They both sit in silence for a few minutes. Jayce has his head bowed down and looks tense. Aria can sense that something is bothering him even though she doesn’t know that it is partially because he feels guilty keeping secrets from her. She knows what he is going to ask, but she just isn’t ready to give him an answer. Aria slips on socks.
Ah, the head hopping.
[removed a section that was almost the same as E2]
Jayce lets her go, and Aria walks out to go up the stairs. The next room to the right looks like some kind of storage room. Aria closes the door as Jayce catches up.
“Anything interesting in there?” he asks, trying to act like he isn’t worried.
“Nothing. Just storage.”
The top room is more interesting. Three windows bathe the room in moonlight. Papers and what look like arcane objects litter every surface except for the floor. A cabinet with glass doors on top and solid wooden doors on the bottom is to the left against the wall. Two tables are in front of the windows next to each other with a couple of chairs pushed under them. Candelabras sit on the tables with candles still in them.
“I’ll be right back,” Jayce says as he grabs a burned-out torch from one of the holders on either side of the door to light it in the fireplace.
I had torches at first before I did a little research into lighting and changed them to lanterns.
Aria has heard of people trying to do magic. Some are frauds performing parlor tricks, and a few are rumored to have some degree of power. This man, however, had surpassed them all. Old books line the bookcases on the right side of room. An assortment of beakers, different glass flasks, and pestles sit on the tables.
Plant pieces, powders, liquids that have petrified over time, and what look like animal bones fill glass containers and jars. Aria reminds herself to not touch anything. She doesn’t want to curse herself on accident.
Jayce returns and lights the candles in the room before replacing the torch in its holder. Aria goes over to investigate the black cloth with arcane symbols on the left table. Three skulls lie on the cloth facing each other. They sit on the points of a triangular shaped symbol. One is a wolf skull, another is about the same size as the wolf skull but is more cat-like, and the smallest is a bird skull.
[removed a few paragraphs]
“Jayce, I’m pretty sure this little skull is from a phoenix.”
He comes to the same realization and grimaces. “Maybe we should avoid telling Landa.”
“Avoid telling Landa what?” The phoenix decides to make an untimely entrance behind them. “I came down to check on you both, but the bedroom was empty.”
Jayce and Aria glance at each other guiltily.
Landa flies over to a clear spot on the edge of the other table and spots the phoenix skull. She sighs sadly. “Poor Ember. She was just bringing a message to the wolves. That sorcerer deserved to burn ten times over for the atrocities he committed. My father was merciful in my opinion.”
Jayce started to reach for the phoenix skull as she talked.
“No one claimed the remains out of fear of them being cursed just by being touched by that evil man.”
The royal guard quickly pulls his hand back.
If she could smile, Landa might be sporting an amused grin. “I’m not sure if they actually are cursed or not, but that’s why they’re still here.”
“So, this disproves the rumors that phoenixes burst into flames when they die and are reborn in the ashes,” Aria comments.
Landa chuckles, “I’ve heard that too. When we die, we don’t come back to life as a chick. Death is final for us. I’m not even sure how that rumor started in the first place.”
“Also, thanks for saving me from that wierling.”
“No problem,” Landa responds, happy she has done something right.
They hear the horses whinny downstairs. Then, something sounds like it is coming up the stairs. Jayce draws his sword and steps in front of Aria to shield her.
If a wierling decides to invade the keep, their chances of escaping alive are slim. They’re trapped in a room with a phoenix who can’t burn it and Jayce with a sword that won’t do anything but make it angry.
I don’t remember if this was meant to be from Aria’s perspective or the narrator. Aria wouldn’t know yet that Landa doesn’t have fire.
They don’t expect a large gray wolf with yellow eyes to appear around the corner.
“So, you’re the ones causing all the commotion around here,” he speaks.
Jayce lowers his sword. “Who are you?”
“My name is Arrow.” The wolf calls back down the stairs, “Phase, Haven, I found them!”
A dark brown wolf with green hued eyes, and a sandy-colored wolf join Arrow in the doorway. Aria thinks she recognizes the lighter coated one.
I didn’t know a lot about hyphens and when to use them. Green-hued and lighter-coated should have had hyphens.
“This is Phase, and this is our pack leader, Haven,” Arrow introduces the dark coated wolf and the sandy coated one respectively.
Again, with the missing hyphens.
“Princess Aria, I presume?” Haven asks. “I’ve only seen you once when you were young, and I had just been named the new pack leader.”
Aria remembers, when she was twelve years old or so, peering around the corner of a doorway into the throne room and seeing Haven talking to her parents.
“Yes, I remember.”
Haven looks to Jayce. “And your name?”
“Jayce. I’m a royal guard from Toranon.”
“Nice to meet you,” she says pleasantly. “And Landa. Nice to see you again.”
“Haven,” the phoenix greets, “good to see you too.”
I thought I needed to have introductions, but later I felt that they just slowed the scene down.
“How did you know we were here? I thought you all live further west,” Aria asks.
East, not west. I may have not had it clear at the time how locations in Lythannen were orientated.
“I send periodic patrols to check on this keep. Two of my pack noticed light, smoke billowing from the chimney, and a phoenix sitting on top of a tower.”
“I was kidnapped and abandoned here. Jayce and Landa came to rescue me. We’re waiting until morning to leave.”
I forgot how different the old version was.
“Is one of the wierlings after you?” Arrow asks perceptively.
“Yes. Two traitors to my kingdom abandoned me here so one would find me,” Aria responds hesitantly. She isn’t keen for strangers to know all about her mental illness.
Haven regards her for a moment. Aria feels like those brown eyes are piercing through her. In all of the wolves’ eyes, she can see immeasurable wisdom and a deeper connection to everything and everyone around them than anyone else can probably even begin to comprehend.
The line about “immeasurable wisdom and a deeper connection” was cut out because I didn’t want the wolves to seem all-knowing and all-powerful. They may have magic in them, but I wanted to ground them a bit more.
Haven speaks again, “As you may know, on the days of a full moon, my pack is offered sight in the form of visions, omens, or prophecies. About an hour ago, we witnessed the downfall of Toranon. Rodrick will stop at nothing to seize your lands. His greed knows no bounds.”
“Rodrick is going to attack us?” Aria asks in disbelief. “When?”
“Within the next day or two,” Landa answers. “My father sent me to investigate armies marching from Drangon and Hanarthar to Rochellor. I learned that they are planning to attack your kingdom.”
“I sent two of my wolves to warn Toranon about the vision as well,” Haven says.
“Aria, there’s more,” Jayce adds, looking like something is terribly wrong.
“What else could be wrong?” Aria says, distressed.
“I was waiting until you felt better to tell you. Your father has been poisoned somehow.”
Aria feels like the weight of the world is crushing her. “Is he sick like my mother was?”
“Yes. Those two men are apparently the ones responsible. Landa heard rumors that Rodrick ordered your mother to be poisoned, but we don’t know for sure if he could also be involved in all of this or not. It may or may not have just been gossip.”
“All I care about right now is my father. He may only have two or three days left.” Aria drops down on one of the chairs in the room before she collapses from stress.
“I’m sorry we didn’t tell you sooner. I wanted to make sure you were strong enough to take the news.”
“It’s fine.” Aria waves a hand dismissively. “I would have done the same thing.”
She presses her face against her hands and forces her emotions down.
This is too soon! You can’t take on the responsibility of running the kingdom alone yet!
The people will see what a failure you are! They’ll wish that you had died and your father had lived!
Haven shares a knowing look with Phase. The dark-furred wolf nods.
“Perhaps your father can be cured,” Haven suggests.
“What do you mean?” Aria lifts her head back up.
“Phase, you’re the one who found them.”
“Long ago, the sorcerer enchanted a weeping willow tree and purple roses bloomed that were supposedly imbued with healing properties,” he explains. “Unfortunately, the tree was destroyed by lightning soon after, but we check on it every once in a while. Two days ago, I witnessed new growth and blossoms. I don’t know how, but the tree has come back to life. We would fetch you one, but the flowers are blooming too high off the ground right now.”
Haven continues, “Apparently, the sorcerer told a villager that he could heal his sick wife with a magic rose, for a price of course. The effectiveness of these flowers was never proven, but they could be your father’s only chance.”
“Where is the tree?” Aria asks.
“Take the southern path and cross the river. The tree won’t be far beyond the bridge.”
I had no name for the river yet. Not enough worldbuilding.
“Maybe I could go ahead and bring a flower to the king,” Landa proposes.
“I wouldn’t recommend that,” Haven advises. “You need to remain with Princess Aria and Jayce to protect them until they leave the forest and maybe even after to defend them from the invaders. Now, you three need to rest. We’ll keep watch for you.”
Defend from the invaders? I had no plan for how that would work.
“Aria, are you alright?” Jayce questions.
The princess had zoned out while Haven and Landa talked.
My mother was poisoned. She was never sick with some mystery illness. All of my fears and struggles since my mother’s death have been a lie.
“I need some time alone.”
Once again, I forgot how different this was from the final version. The big changes were just cleaning up the grammar, fixing the head hopping, and making sure the plot was consistent.
Copyright © 2018 Lindsay McCafferty